Tuesday, December 28, 2010

the 37th page

It's a little bit fragile isn't it?
Can't be squeezed too much yar?



When the last thing I ever had was a heart,
then you took it..
and I had only one thing to say from apart,
just don't crush it.




Sunday, December 26, 2010

the 36th page

I won't be drawing the heart on the sand,
once the wave comes, it will be rinsed away


...instead, the heart will be preserved,
and last forever, for the world to see.



I have so much stories to tell,
...but it's Untitled.




Friday, December 24, 2010

the 35th page

I don't want to be dead before you can see me!



We will find each other eh? Yes we will.
We find each other.



Wednesday, December 22, 2010

the 34th page

the hardest part is when I have to keep
pretending I don't know you in the middle of a crowd.
It's a real pain



Just now, I couldn't breath. I lose my breath. and I am dead serious!
But then, I ran. As far as I could to catch some thin air.
And my lungs went back to it's normal shape.
And my heart was ok for the time being.
Just... a minute OKAY!
All because of you.



Tuesday, December 21, 2010

the 33rd page


I don't know why am I wearing such a mask!




What makes me happy, makes me happier!
and
What makes me bad, makes me worse.



Tuesday, December 14, 2010

the 32nd page

I don't want you to leave me,
because I'm not going to leave you. Never!



Kalau di situ ada senyap,
biarlah senyap itu senyap yang tenang,
bukan senyap kita senyap yang sumbang...

Monday, December 13, 2010

the 31st page

truth begins in lies, dear people..


When today, you'd tell a person the secrets you have,
then tomorrow, they'll keep telling lies to you.

Friday, December 10, 2010

the 30th page

we are on the same road, but different cars.


If you are afraid of nightmares, then wake up!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

the 29th page

when water runs deep...

Sometimes, silence makes it hard to find words,
and that is when rain is needed.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

the 28th page

it's either me, you, or time will win this battle!
We know the rules,
NO CHEATING and NO 3rd PARTY!



here comes the thunder that loves the rain
here comes what we never expect
the tears that love the joys
a perfect subject that teaches gratitude
to the world that refuses to change it's attitude
the mystery of hatred that loves the love
and the silence that peeks the loud.

but last night's dream
gave the slightest perfect move
dragging some unrejected theories
even after all,even after all..
the game goes on. and on....
'till one starts smiling and,
one stops crying, one have won!

Monday, November 22, 2010

the 27th page

we move from 1 to another space in times. Sometimes, we play alone. We lose turn, and redo. there's just no u-turn


aku mendengar untuk memekakkan
aku melihat untuk membutakan
aku berbicara untuk membebaskan
aku berjalan untuk meredakan
aku berlari untuk menjauhkan
aku bangun untuk memisahkan

kadang kala terkalahkan
maka aku sembunyikan air mata
di sebalik hilai tawa dan lakonan kegembiraan
siapa yang tahu akan aku?
maka dia penipu!

kerana aku tahu telah ditinggalkan
kau juga ditinggalkan
kita semua sedar ditinggalkan
oleh masa yang tak setia dan
tak pernah setia
bersama memori yang membusukkan jiwa!
lalu aku terjaga dan
aku yang dahulu ialah Siapa..
di tengah dunia baru yang
melarutkan aku dalam angin
yang dihantar dari damai sana.
Nyatakan yang aku masih dalam doa mu.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

the 26th page (Renjisan Kedamaian)

Guide my steps don’t let me go astray


Kau berikanku segala-galanya
dan Kau mengujiku dengan cinta dunia
yang sungguh indah dan
Kau hiaskannya dengan intan permata
dengan jua wanita
dan kedudukan yang memalingkanku
daripada-Mu

Dalam menikmati kurniaan-Mu
tak terucap lafaz terima kasihku
namun untuk jadi yang terbaik
juga masih belum kumampu

Dalam sujud cintaku
fanaku diulit rindu
getirnya cemas di kalbu
takut hidup tanpa redha-Mu

Hanya kerna-Mu Tuhanku
aku hidup dan ku akan
kembali pada-Mu
hanya pada-Mu dalam
sujud cintaku

Kau berikanku segala-galanya
dan Kau mengujiku dengan cinta dunia
yang sungguh indah dan
Kau janjikanku dengan ayat-ayatMu
Di sana menanti di syurga Kau penuhi
Dengan cinta dan kasihMu
Ya Rabbi


Dalam Sujud Cintaku_Devotees

Sunday, November 7, 2010

the 25th page

Sudi kembali padaku?



Tentang HATI, cuma Tuhan yang tahu.

Tentang SAKIT, cuma Tuhan yang tahu.

Tentang AKU, cuma Tuhan yang tahu.

Tentang RINDU, cuma Tuhan yang tahu.

Tentang KAMU, cuma Tuhan yang tahu.



Mengapa kau membisu? Aku perlu tahu!
Kerana jiwa aku adalah separuh jiwamu,
dan aku perlukan jiwaku!
Aku tidak mahu mati dengan jiwa yang merana,
Aku mahu pergi bersama jiwa yang bahagia...

Monday, October 25, 2010

the 24th page

Rescue me, please. I know I'm not alone. I have you.



I jumped.
From 19th > 21st
From lower to higher
I just do not know why.
I skipped a chapter in my life
Ohh! What was that.. ?
I wonder...

***

& hari ini aku kuburkan 'ia' di sini
Biar shahid
Biar sudi ikhlas
Dalam sunyi, Tuhan yang lebih tahu
Jadikan aku yang redha
Jadikan aku yang bahagia.


***


  • Dan sesungguhnya Kami benar-benar akan menguji kamu agar Kami mengetahui orang-orang yang berjihad dan bersabar diantara kamu;
  • dan agar Kami menyatakan (baik buruknya) hal ihwalmu
  • [Muhammad,31:47]
  • Wednesday, October 20, 2010

    the 23rd page

    I'm not running away from you. I'm running for you!


    I want to run.
    I need to run.
    Very Far and very fast.
    Silently gasping for air.
    Because my lungs are running out of this sweet poisons.
    This sweet escape will never kill me.
    But help.
    I'll keep laughing and non-stop smiling.
    I'll promise to control my emotions.
    Behind every drop of tear.
    I'm Happy!!
    I'll make you Happy!!
    you...you...you
    especially.
    I swear.

    Sunday, October 17, 2010

    the 22nd page (The Triple 10)


    apa yang tergadai



    "Apa khabar M. kat sana?"
    Semoga M. bahagia :)
    Sampai sekarang, aku masih terimbau kali terakhir kau tengok aku
    dekat kantin dengan I.
    Rupanya betul-betul yang terakhir
    M...
    sekali lagi air mata aku menitis
    Bukan aku tak dapat terima hakikat
    Tapi perit sangat untuk aku ingat
    Suara kau yang aku rasa paling unik
    dalam kalangan student perempuan kat sini
    Bakat kau yang memang sangat jarang boleh dijumpa
    Kau masuk silat dalam masa yang sama kau masuk tarian
    Aku rasa kau hebat
    Tapi kau pergi cepat sangat..
    Mula-mula chatting, kau salah orang
    Kau ingat aku member kau kat Terengganu
    Aku gelakkan kau je selama ni bila terpikir balik
    Cuma kau tak cakap slanga Terengganu je dengan aku
    kau selalu buat orang gelak
    kau buat lawak
    Tapi kali ni kau buat aku nangis
    Kau buat KITORANG nangis
    M.. kau nak tau,
    Masa kelas En.S, kitorang diberitahu kau dah tak ada
    Semua dak2 kelas aku meraung (ok, mungkin aku exaggerate sgt)
    Aku tak puas hati, aku call roomate aku, dak kelas kau
    Dia kata kau kat hospital, koma
    Kau nak tau lagi?
    Aku tak ada lesen kereta, dah tak valid!
    Bila dapat tau kau kat hospital,
    Member-member lain nak pergi ziarah kau
    Tapi diorang sume takut nak drive
    Aku bulatkan hati, aku tekad bawak kereta
    Dari KL sampai AK,
    Semata-mata nak tengok kau
    Aku bawak laju
    Tapi sampai hospital, ICU masih tak boleh masuk
    Aku nak tengok kau sangat-sangat,
    Tapi tak dapat, kitorang balik kolej semula
    Nak sedapkan hati, aku kata
    "Kau boleh survive, she's strong!"
    Weekend nanti aku turun lg.
    Belum sempat aku nak rasa lega
    Belum sempat aku nak senyum
    Belum sempat aku nak tengok & dengar kau ketawa semula
    Classmate kau called aku, kau dah tak ada.
    Belum sempat air mata aku menitis untuk entah kali ke berapa
    Aku capai Yaasin
    Baca ramai-ramai,
    Tapi aku tak dengar suara aku sendiri
    Aku tak faham apa yang aku baca
    Sebab tiba-tiba mata aku berkaca
    Dada aku rasa nak pecah,
    Sebab kau kawan aku yang pertama
    terima bacaan Yaasin daripada aku
    Malam tu jugak, pukul 2 pagi, dak2 kelas kau pergi negeri kelahiran kau
    Aku tak tahan, aku paksa diri aku tidur
    Nak tenangkan hati sekali lagi
    Aku balik kampung
    Tapi perasaan tu tetap sama
    Macam mana aku cuba lupakan kau
    Macam mana aku pura-pura bagitau diri aku
    yang aku tak pernah kenal kau sekalipun
    Walaupun kita tak la rapat mana
    Aku sedih, sebabnya aku pernah berbual dengan kau
    AKU SEDIH, SEBAB AKU PERNAH BERBUAL DENGAN KAU!!
    Kalau aku yang cuma pernah berbual dengan kau
    terlalu rasa sedih
    Pedih lagi Emak yang melahirkan kau
    Perit lagi member yang selalu kau jumpa
    Sakit lagi B. yang pergi camping dengan kau
    Terpanah lagi F. yang kau SMS
    mintak tolong dia ambik kau kat somewhere hari tu
    M...
    InsyaAllah, ada keizinan Allah
    Sampailah aku kat pusara kau
    Aku nak usung & genggam Yaasin sampai sana
    Aku nak lagukan Al-Fatihah terindah buat kau
    Dengan harapan jiwa kau tenang
    Sebab kau permata yang dicari, tapi telah tertanam selamanya
    Kau bukan lagi di dunia
    Kau milik Dia, Agungnya Pencipta
    SN...................

    Saturday, October 9, 2010

    the 21st page

    Never fail to LOVE and be LOVED!


    Today, I defined LOVE as time stopping
    Because yesterday, today and tomorrow
    I will always always
    LOVE YOU...YOU...YOU...and...
    YOU !!!


    each and everyone of YOU,
    you are prohibited to leave
    the seat in my heart without permission!


    LOVES come every time we smile :)

    Saturday, October 2, 2010

    the 19th page

    Here you are. I've been searchin' for you. GOTCHA!

    * * *

    I can see my reflection.
    Even in the darkness!
    My very own reflection.
    I've found it.
    It's there, right before me!

    It is...
    The Light of Guidance
    securely in
    The Custody of Benevolence!
    Clearly, it's a gift. A very special secret gift from The Almighty.
    I've won it!

    Sunday, September 26, 2010

    the 18th page

    bunga-bunga matahari~


    I'll keep singing the songs which will make us happy!
    I'll keep saying the words which will make us smile!
    I'll keep telling the jokes which will make us laugh!
    I'll keep being noisy with stories...
    ...which will make you wonder!
    I'll keep having friends
    you...yoU...yOU...YOU!

    and YOU!!
    whom
    I LOVE
    whom will always be by my side under any cases.
    I'll keep secrets,
    and I'll keep praying for my life, your life, our lives
    to happily live ever after~

    Saturday, September 25, 2010

    the 17th page

    I'll learn not to cry

    I've never lied to you. I just, didn't tell you the truth.
    We can tell people anything, but we can't tell them everything
    I'll try to blink :)

    Monday, September 20, 2010

    the 16th page

    I am the Art of Longing



    So if all I have is your extreme and constant longing...

    ...I promise to preserve that look upon your face,

    that glance from the window, till the day I die.

    Sunday, September 19, 2010

    the 15th page


    The Road Taken. There is no turning back!

    Saturday, September 18, 2010

    the 14th page



    if there's one thing I hate, it's that slightest stupid thought of yours that I had forgotten you.

    if there's one thing I hate, it's that the tiniest tear at the edge of your eyes peeking on me.

    if there's one thing I hate, sometimes it may be me. it'd never be you.


    ***

    for I actually care, but no one sees my heart shows
    for I actually love, but no one realizes my eyes tell
    for I actually longed, but I hold,
    because to be fair, we have to swap our longings.
    for I have had screamed silently, but no one could listen
    because everybody is busy trying very hard to show the world that they are happy!

    Monday, September 13, 2010

    the 13th page

    Let it play. Don't stop the music!

    it can happen to anyone of us. well then, LEARN!


    we make mistakes and blunders and flaws.
    and we say SORRIES!
    then we don't make mistakes anymore
    and we have memories :)


    * * *


    You Have To Show Them That You're Really Not Scared
    You're Playin' With Your Life, This Ain't No Truth Or Dare
    They'll Kick You, Then They Beat You,
    Then They'll Tell You It's Fair
    So Beat It, But You Wanna Be Bad
    - MJ, Beat It -

    Wednesday, September 8, 2010

    the 12th page

    the road taken


    Jalan Baik-baik Ramadhan!!


    Ada kesempatan jumpa lagi.
    Semoga pertemuan seterusnya lebih lebih bermakna dan bahagia hendakNya.
    Salam Kerinduan~
    Selamat Jalan.

    Monday, August 30, 2010

    EDISI KHAS : Ku Katakan Dengan Indah Namamu Merdeka

    apa kata kita?

    Ya, Malaysia MERDEKA !

    Ya, Malaysia MERDEKA !!

    Ya, Malaysia MERDEKA !!!
    (gambar hiasan)

    Ya, Malaysia MERDEKA !!!!


    tetapi tidak MEREKA!


    tidak juga bagi MEREKA !!


    Hey !!!

    Friday, August 27, 2010

    the 11th page

    i am longing. but every time i see you, i longed for you even more

    i will make sure that my 'words' are securely kept

    * * *

    today, is my first day in Melaka.
    in this house...
    surrounded by pester-type kids... (LOL)
    I was recommended to be mentally & emotionally ready... (another LOL)
    They meant.... really really ready.
    What else I can do but to really really ready ??

    P/S: I might be turning into fleshless zombie. wild but loved full stop


    * * *
    bring Allah in every single track ﴿

    Wednesday, August 25, 2010

    the 10th page

    let it swings to catch

    'it's' coming towards us


    aku takut, aku menulis tanpa tujuan
    aku risau berdegar cuma harapan
    aku juga takut bertinta punya tujuan...
    tapi
    ada tertanam sebesar biji sawi rasa-rasa yang ditiup syaitan
    untuk merasa gah dengan kehidupan.
    aku takut, tersilap menyebar yang tak kembali pada diri
    aku takut melihat kesilapan manusiawi, tapi tak pada diri
    aku resah kalau-kalau hati ini terpaling.
    biar aku jadi aku
    biar kau terima aku
    biar kau membimbing ku
    asal aku tak terkaku.





    saling memimpin ke syurga~