the 37th page

It's a little bit fragile isn't it?

Can't be squeezed too much yar?

When the last thing I ever had was a heart,

then you took it..

and I had only one thing to say from apart,

just don't crush it.

the 36th page

I won't be drawing the heart on the sand,

once the wave comes, it will be rinsed away

...instead, the heart will be preserved,

and last forever, for the world to see.

I have so much stories to tell,

...but it's Untitled.

the 35th page

I don't want to be dead before you can see me!

We will find each other eh? Yes we will.

We find each other.

the 34th page

the hardest part is when I have to keep

pretending I don't know you in the middle of a crowd.

It's a real pain

Just now, I couldn't breath. I lose my breath. and I am dead serious!

But then, I ran. As far as I could to catch some thin air.

And my lungs went back to it's normal shape.

And my heart was ok for the time being.

Just... a minute OKAY!

All because of you.

the 33rd page

I don't know why am I wearing such a mask!

What makes me happy, makes me happier!

and

What makes me bad, makes me worse.

the 32nd page

I don't want you to leave me,

because I'm not going to leave you. Never!

Kalau di situ ada senyap,

biarlah senyap itu senyap yang tenang,

bukan senyap kita senyap yang sumbang...

the 31st page

truth begins in lies, dear people..

When today, you'd tell a person the secrets you have,

then tomorrow, they'll keep telling lies to you.

the 30th page

we are on the same road, but different cars.

If you are afraid of nightmares, then wake up!

the 29th page

when water runs deep...

Sometimes, silence makes it hard to find words,

and that is when rain is needed.

the 28th page

it's either me, you, or time will win this battle!

We know the rules,

NO CHEATING and NO 3rd PARTY!

here comes the thunder that loves the rain

here comes what we never expect

the tears that love the joys

a perfect subject that teaches gratitude

to the world that refuses to change it's attitude

the mystery of hatred that loves the love

and the silence that peeks the loud.

but last night's dream

gave the slightest perfect move

dragging some unrejected theories

even after all,even after all..

the game goes on. and on....

'till one starts smiling and,

one stops crying, one have won!

the 27th page

we move from 1 to another space in times. Sometimes, we play alone. We lose turn, and redo. there's just no u-turn

aku mendengar untuk memekakkan

aku melihat untuk membutakan

aku berbicara untuk membebaskan

aku berjalan untuk meredakan

aku berlari untuk menjauhkan

aku bangun untuk memisahkan

kadang kala terkalahkan

maka aku sembunyikan air mata

di sebalik hilai tawa dan lakonan kegembiraan

siapa yang tahu akan aku?

maka dia penipu!

kerana aku tahu telah ditinggalkan

kau juga ditinggalkan

kita semua sedar ditinggalkan

oleh masa yang tak setia dan

tak pernah setia

bersama memori yang membusukkan jiwa!

lalu aku terjaga dan

aku yang dahulu ialah Siapa..

di tengah dunia baru yang

melarutkan aku dalam angin

yang dihantar dari damai sana.

Nyatakan yang aku masih dalam doa mu.

the 26th page (Renjisan Kedamaian)

Guide my steps don’t let me go astray

Kau berikanku segala-galanya

dan Kau mengujiku dengan cinta dunia

yang sungguh indah dan

Kau hiaskannya dengan intan permata

dengan jua wanita

dan kedudukan yang memalingkanku

daripada-Mu

Dalam menikmati kurniaan-Mu

tak terucap lafaz terima kasihku

namun untuk jadi yang terbaik

juga masih belum kumampu

Dalam sujud cintaku

fanaku diulit rindu

getirnya cemas di kalbu

takut hidup tanpa redha-Mu

Hanya kerna-Mu Tuhanku

aku hidup dan ku akan

kembali pada-Mu

hanya pada-Mu dalam

sujud cintaku

Kau berikanku segala-galanya

dan Kau mengujiku dengan cinta dunia

yang sungguh indah dan

Kau janjikanku dengan ayat-ayatMu

Di sana menanti di syurga Kau penuhi

Dengan cinta dan kasihMu

Ya Rabbi

Dalam Sujud Cintaku_Devotees

the 25th page

Sudi kembali padaku?

Tentang HATI, cuma Tuhan yang tahu.

Tentang SAKIT, cuma Tuhan yang tahu.

Tentang AKU, cuma Tuhan yang tahu.

Tentang RINDU, cuma Tuhan yang tahu.

Tentang KAMU, cuma Tuhan yang tahu.

Mengapa kau membisu? Aku perlu tahu!

Kerana jiwa aku adalah separuh jiwamu,

dan aku perlukan jiwaku!

Aku tidak mahu mati dengan jiwa yang merana,

Aku mahu pergi bersama jiwa yang bahagia...

the 24th page

Rescue me, please. I know I'm not alone. I have you.

I jumped.

From 19th > 21st

From lower to higher

I just do not know why.

I skipped a chapter in my life

Ohh! What was that.. ?

I wonder...

***

& hari ini aku kuburkan 'ia' di sini

Biar shahid

Biar sudi ikhlas

Dalam sunyi, Tuhan yang lebih tahu

Jadikan aku yang redha

Jadikan aku yang bahagia.

***

Dan sesungguhnya Kami benar-benar akan menguji kamu agar Kami mengetahui orang-orang yang berjihad dan bersabar diantara kamu;

dan agar Kami menyatakan (baik buruknya) hal ihwalmu

[Muhammad,31:47]

the 23rd page

I'm not running away from you. I'm running for you!

I want to run.

I need to run.

Very Far and very fast.

Silently gasping for air.

Because my lungs are running out of this sweet poisons.

This sweet escape will never kill me.

But help.

I'll keep laughing and non-stop smiling.

I'll promise to control my emotions.

Behind every drop of tear.

I'm Happy!!

I'll make you Happy!!

you...you...you

especially.

I swear.

the 22nd page (The Triple 10)

apa yang tergadai

"Apa khabar M. kat sana?"

Semoga M. bahagia :)

Sampai sekarang, aku masih terimbau kali terakhir kau tengok aku

dekat kantin dengan I.

Rupanya betul-betul yang terakhir

M...

sekali lagi air mata aku menitis

Bukan aku tak dapat terima hakikat

Tapi perit sangat untuk aku ingat

Suara kau yang aku rasa paling unik

dalam kalangan student perempuan kat sini

Bakat kau yang memang sangat jarang boleh dijumpa

Kau masuk silat dalam masa yang sama kau masuk tarian

Aku rasa kau hebat

Tapi kau pergi cepat sangat..

Mula-mula chatting, kau salah orang

Kau ingat aku member kau kat Terengganu

Aku gelakkan kau je selama ni bila terpikir balik

Cuma kau tak cakap slanga Terengganu je dengan aku

kau selalu buat orang gelak

kau buat lawak

Tapi kali ni kau buat aku nangis

Kau buat KITORANG nangis

M.. kau nak tau,

Masa kelas En.S, kitorang diberitahu kau dah tak ada

Semua dak2 kelas aku meraung (ok, mungkin aku exaggerate sgt)

Aku tak puas hati, aku call roomate aku, dak kelas kau

Dia kata kau kat hospital, koma

Kau nak tau lagi?

Aku tak ada lesen kereta, dah tak valid!

Bila dapat tau kau kat hospital,

Member-member lain nak pergi ziarah kau

Tapi diorang sume takut nak drive

Aku bulatkan hati, aku tekad bawak kereta

Dari KL sampai AK,

Semata-mata nak tengok kau

Aku bawak laju

Tapi sampai hospital, ICU masih tak boleh masuk

Aku nak tengok kau sangat-sangat,

Tapi tak dapat, kitorang balik kolej semula

Nak sedapkan hati, aku kata

"Kau boleh survive, she's strong!"

Weekend nanti aku turun lg.

Belum sempat aku nak rasa lega

Belum sempat aku nak senyum

Belum sempat aku nak tengok & dengar kau ketawa semula

Classmate kau called aku, kau dah tak ada.

Belum sempat air mata aku menitis untuk entah kali ke berapa

Aku capai Yaasin

Baca ramai-ramai,

Tapi aku tak dengar suara aku sendiri

Aku tak faham apa yang aku baca

Sebab tiba-tiba mata aku berkaca

Dada aku rasa nak pecah,

Sebab kau kawan aku yang pertama

terima bacaan Yaasin daripada aku

Malam tu jugak, pukul 2 pagi, dak2 kelas kau pergi negeri kelahiran kau

Aku tak tahan, aku paksa diri aku tidur

Nak tenangkan hati sekali lagi

Aku balik kampung

Tapi perasaan tu tetap sama

Macam mana aku cuba lupakan kau

Macam mana aku pura-pura bagitau diri aku

yang aku tak pernah kenal kau sekalipun

Walaupun kita tak la rapat mana

Aku sedih, sebabnya aku pernah berbual dengan kau

AKU SEDIH, SEBAB AKU PERNAH BERBUAL DENGAN KAU!!

Kalau aku yang cuma pernah berbual dengan kau

terlalu rasa sedih

Pedih lagi Emak yang melahirkan kau

Perit lagi member yang selalu kau jumpa

Sakit lagi B. yang pergi camping dengan kau

Terpanah lagi F. yang kau SMS

mintak tolong dia ambik kau kat somewhere hari tu

M...

InsyaAllah, ada keizinan Allah

Sampailah aku kat pusara kau

Aku nak usung & genggam Yaasin sampai sana

Aku nak lagukan Al-Fatihah terindah buat kau

Dengan harapan jiwa kau tenang

Sebab kau permata yang dicari, tapi telah tertanam selamanya

Kau bukan lagi di dunia

Kau milik Dia, Agungnya Pencipta

SN...................

the 21st page

Never fail to LOVE and be LOVED!

Today, I defined LOVE as time stopping

Because yesterday, today and tomorrow

I will always always

LOVE YOU...YOU...YOU...and...

YOU !!!

each and everyone of YOU,

you are prohibited to leave

the seat in my heart without permission!

LOVES come every time we smile :)

the 19th page

Here you are. I've been searchin' for you. GOTCHA!

* * *

I can see my reflection.

Even in the darkness!

My very own reflection.

I've found it.

It's there, right before me!

It is...

The Light of Guidance

securely in

The Custody of Benevolence!

Clearly, it's a gift. A very special secret gift from The Almighty.

I've won it!

the 18th page

bunga-bunga matahari~

I'll keep singing the songs which will make us happy!

I'll keep saying the words which will make us smile!

I'll keep telling the jokes which will make us laugh!

I'll keep being noisy with stories...

...which will make you wonder!

I'll keep having friends

you...yoU...yOU...YOU!

and YOU!!

whom

I LOVE

whom will always be by my side under any cases.

I'll keep secrets,

and I'll keep praying for my life, your life, our lives

to happily live ever after~

the 17th page

I'll learn not to cry

I've never lied to you. I just, didn't tell you the truth.

We can tell people anything, but we can't tell them everything

I'll try to blink :)

the 16th page

I am the Art of Longing

So if all I have is your extreme and constant longing...

...I promise to preserve that look upon your face,

that glance from the window, till the day I die.

the 15th page

The Road Taken. There is no turning back!

the 14th page

if there's one thing I hate, it's that slightest stupid thought of yours that I had forgotten you.

if there's one thing I hate, it's that the tiniest tear at the edge of your eyes peeking on me.

if there's one thing I hate, sometimes it may be me. it'd never be you.

***

for I actually care, but no one sees my heart shows

for I actually love, but no one realizes my eyes tell

for I actually longed, but I hold,

because to be fair, we have to swap our longings.

for I have had screamed silently, but no one could listen

because everybody is busy trying very hard to show the world that they are happy!

the 13th page

Let it play. Don't stop the music!

it can happen to anyone of us. well then, LEARN!

we make mistakes and blunders and flaws.

and we say SORRIES!

then we don't make mistakes anymore

and we have memories :)

* * *

You Have To Show Them That You're Really Not Scared

You're Playin' With Your Life, This Ain't No Truth Or Dare

They'll Kick You, Then They Beat You,

Then They'll Tell You It's Fair

So Beat It, But You Wanna Be Bad

- MJ, Beat It -

the 12th page

the road taken

Jalan Baik-baik Ramadhan!!

Ada kesempatan jumpa lagi.

Semoga pertemuan seterusnya lebih lebih bermakna dan bahagia hendakNya.

Salam Kerinduan~

Selamat Jalan.

EDISI KHAS : Ku Katakan Dengan Indah Namamu Merdeka

apa kata kita?

Ya, Malaysia MERDEKA !

Ya, Malaysia MERDEKA !!

Ya, Malaysia MERDEKA !!!

(gambar hiasan)

Ya, Malaysia MERDEKA !!!!

tetapi tidak MEREKA!

tidak juga bagi MEREKA !!

Hey !!!